Disappointment
At times disappointment has been my enemy
It has knocked me for six
My faith has the wind knocked out of it
And I begin to pray with a limp
Like one who has wrestled and lost
It creates scar tissue
Where in time when I try and flex my muscles again
I find the tissue to be stiffer, weaker, damaged
This kind of disappointment takes me out
Benches me
Takes me out of the ring
To ever hope for more again
To ever take God at His word again,
To ever believe and trust in Him for more to this life.
But here, I find God to be so merciful with me
Despite the offence I have taken to my unanswered prayer
In His loving kindness He soothes me
He is such a great comforter
A physician that tends to my war wounds
He heals me and sets me right.
But today, I don't feel disappointment crippling me
And I don't ask Him to lift it so quickly
I don't feel Him rush in to deliver me from it either.
For me, today anyway, disappointment is not my enemy.
Today it is simply a measure of how deeply I loved the one I lost
It measures the compassion I feel
It's a measure of my faith actually!
It's a measure of how truly, honestly, whole-heartedly and without a shadow of any doubt , I believed Jesus would do it this time,
It measures how confident I was in Him
My disappointment doesn't measure my lack of my faith but the strength of it!
For me, not to have some disappointment today
Some shock, some sadness or feeling of let down
Would have been a half-hearted, half-hoped prayer
And mine was a full hearted, full-hoped one.
And so today disappointment walks hand in hand with faith
She is a prayer of lament for what could have been,
She sings out in my worship
As I grieve
As I talk, reflect and mourn with those around me.
I am not ashamed of her
I am not afraid of disappointment.
I hope to see less of her, yes
But she doesn't do me any harm.
A physician that tends to my war wounds
He heals me and sets me right.
But today, I don't feel disappointment crippling me
And I don't ask Him to lift it so quickly
I don't feel Him rush in to deliver me from it either.
For me, today anyway, disappointment is not my enemy.
Today it is simply a measure of how deeply I loved the one I lost
It measures the compassion I feel
It's a measure of my faith actually!
It's a measure of how truly, honestly, whole-heartedly and without a shadow of any doubt , I believed Jesus would do it this time,
It measures how confident I was in Him
My disappointment doesn't measure my lack of my faith but the strength of it!
For me, not to have some disappointment today
Some shock, some sadness or feeling of let down
Would have been a half-hearted, half-hoped prayer
And mine was a full hearted, full-hoped one.
And so today disappointment walks hand in hand with faith
She is a prayer of lament for what could have been,
She sings out in my worship
As I grieve
As I talk, reflect and mourn with those around me.
I am not ashamed of her
I am not afraid of disappointment.
I hope to see less of her, yes
But she doesn't do me any harm.